I was 17 years old, laying on my bathroom floor in a puddle of my own blood, shaking and trying to shove my heart back into my chest after you told me you didn’t love me anymore and i’m covered in scars and there are still nights when I find myself trying to hold my bones together with bleeding hands and breathing gets hard as fuck. im fucking pathetic. it’s been months since you left and I still have to have your hoodie in order to fall asleep. the first time you broke my heart I had realized that when you lose someone you can lose everything. not only that but I had completely lost myself. you were the biggest part of me. I go through my days crying, screaming, cursing at the world and the only god I know asking him why he did this to me but also sadly pleading him to bring you back. no stupid words or no poetry can romanticize what you did to me. it was not beautiful because the pain brought a kind of darkness I had never known. it’s been months and I still wake up in middle of the night screaming your name. how can love like that just up and walk away? it’s killing me baby it’s got me pouring up another drink. then I end up in a bottle screaming out your name.
(via darlingleft)
